#10. Webster's Falls

Today, I took my dog to Webster's Falls. It's a waterfall, up on a mountain.

I also drove my mom, who was visiting. She took enough pictures to open her own art exhibit. She didn't bring me any food though.

#9. Guitar Lessonzzz

Today, I stayed up until 5 in the morning playing guitar with a friend. It's pretty much the latest I've ever been up doing a singular activity, except from that time in Grade 4 when I stayed awake all night playing Banjo-Kazooie with a group of friends. Granted, it was my birthday, and the massive amounts of Coca-Cola we ran through in that night could have probably fueled the workforce of a small country for a year.

For some reason, I've become guitar tutor to a number of people, which is weird because I don't even think I'm that good - and I'm not even getting paid, which makes me feel like I should be sitting on a mountaintop and dispensing wisdom and wicked sick riffs to weary travelers.

#8. Oktoberfest

Today, I went to Oktoberfest. It's a pseudo-German celebration in Kitchener, which used to be known as 'New Berlin'.

It was sort of disappointing because instead of being laden with German food and German beers and German polka music played by German people wearing German lederhosen, I was surrounded by a thousand students drinking Coors Light and Molson Canadian and listening to a horrible mishmash of Katy Perry and 50 Cent, which made me feel like the $15 entry fee was a total waste of money when I could've gone to someone's backyard kegger instead. Gasp.

Ah well. New thing of the day.

#7. Microwave

Today, I microwaved something in the engineering lounge.

Despite basically living in the school's engineering lounge for 5 years, I have never needed to heat food - mainly because I like my meals the way I like my revenge. The difference today was the foot-long rib-wich in my hands. Dilemmas. I could eat it cold, but the rib-wich was designed - no, evolved - to be eaten piping hot with melted cheese and warm toasted bread.

To give you a scope of the situation, I was standing in the middle of a busy lounge, with one of the two daily-made rib-wiches in my hands, drawing envious peeks from the people around me. The microwave lay just ahead, and only two minutes of irradiation separated me from a delicious warm lunch.

This is pretty much what the microwave looks like:

[Engineers don't even clean their bodies.]

You'd think that with 500 of the smartest people in the city, we'd be able to figure out a way to keep the microwave clean, but no, apparently, cleanliness is inversely proportional to intelligence. That means as people get smarter, they get dirtier. Which makes Pigpen from Peanuts a freaking genius.

Anyways, I used it after much deliberation, which only goes to show that health concerns are inversely proportional to the deliciousness of food.

#6. Statistical Unreliability

Today, I wrote a midterm for Staistical Reliability of Software.

Ever wake up on Christmas morning, earlier than you wake up on the other 364 days of the year, alert and bushy-tailed and wide-eyed, and run downstairs in a bursting fit of anxiety, your tiny footstomps awakening your poor parents, to find a stack of brightly-wrapped presents, surrounded by the smell of pine and cinnamon and cookies, tearing them open in excitement to find that you got exactly what you asked for, and more?

It was like the exact opposite of that.

#5. L4D2

Today, I taught my girlfriend to play Left 4 Dead 2. She thoroughly enjoyed it, much the same way I enjoy shoe shopping or grating my crotch.

She can't even walk properly in-game. This does not bode well. How are we going to survive the zombie apocalypse if she can't even manage to walk? I can't leave her behind, and I can't carry her on my back (not after taking her to that noodle house one too many times). I think my only option here is to move north before the collapse of society even occurs. Which is going to SUCK. I can't stand cold weather, or Orca whales. They can all suck my ****.

#4. Weapons Shoppe

Today, I went down to the lakeshore.

I've been there numerous times, but this time, I got to visit this really cool weapons shop. They sell all sorts of things like suits of armour and swords and stuff. They're usually closed, probably because they see me coming and I look like the kind of person who would not be very trustworthy near any type of sharp object. Not even a pencil.

I also had an 'iced caramel latte', so with that amount of sugar and caffeine in my body, it's probably a bad idea to allow me near so many bladed weapons.

#3. Arduino

Today, I got my hands on a set of Arduinos. They're these microcontrollers.

[Your brain is shutting down.]

It's a 2x3" package of utter geekdom. You can program these babies to do anything. You can build a robot that detects intruders. Plays music. Flashes a light. Marries you, then steals your money in the divorce and runs off with a hippie.

Honestly, they're pretty cool for little experiments. Consider it like a robot brain. I plugged it into my computer and played around with it for a while, until I got depressed at finding out that a robot brain no bigger than my palm is apparently smarter than me.

#2. Hot Pot

Today, I tried out a new restaurant downtown. It's some sort of Chinese Hot Pot restaurant.

You eat Chinese food. Out of a pot. The pot is hot.

[Self explanatory, but people who read my blog must be mentally retarded and need an explanation.]

The cool thing is, the pot of boiling soup sits in the middle of your table, on this little burner. You're brought selections of meat and vegetables, and you put them in and cook it yourself. People call this unique. I kind of think it's a cop out on the part of the establishment when they make you do the cooking, then charge you $20. Then again, I guess you're paying for the secure feeling of not having someone spit in your food.

My mom does this at home too, but this is the first time I've had it in a restaurant. It makes me wonder if my mom is being just as lazy as the people who own the restaurant - by tricking her children into cooking their own food, under the pretense of a fun family activity. I wonder the same thing about "Family washing night" and "Stimulating the dog's anal glands funtime".

Weirdly enough, it was probably the healthiest meal I've eaten in years.

#1. Sarawak Laksa

Today, I made one of my favourite foods - Sarawak laksa.

If you've never tried laksa, go and book yourself a ticket to Malaysia right now. I'll wait until you get back. Are you going? Good.

... okay. Hopefully you went and got some, otherwise the next paragraph is going to be a little torturous. I don't think I'm going to do this justice with just an explanation. But I'll try. Because I am awesome (not as awesome as laksa)!

Sarawak laksa is a blend of thin rice noodles, topped with Malaysian fare such as huge, juicy prawns and tender chicken meat, as well as a generous helping of fresh bean sprouts, fried tofu, and halved hard-boiled eggs, all doused in a coconut milk and curry broth. It's the most delicious thing I've ever tasted, but I can't eat more than a bowl a day or I'll explode (from happiness, not poop).

Of course, the pseudo version I made doesn't hold water to the authentic, straight-from-Malaysian-street-vendor version, but I did my best. I had to travel over half the city looking for an Asian supermarket because my usual one went out of business. Suspected because they sold foods that were TOO TASTY.

I ended up buying a sauce packet instead of making the broth from raw ingredients. Where am I going to find... galangal? I don't even know what that looks like. Is it a vegetable? A root? Part of a human body?

Anyways, here are a series of pictures:

[Prepping the chicken for lunch!]

[This is probably pure cholesterol. Yay!]

[Shrimp, boiling. I'd make a joke here if I could.]

[Please don't lick the screen. It's dirty and full of germs.]

Restart

Okay guys, I'm really sorry.

I'm lazy. That's pretty much my excuse. I haven't been keeping this blog up to date because I have a million posts backlogged and they're jammed down the pipe tighter than Jack Thompson. I just don't want to take the effort to sort through all that stuff.

So I'm going to just start anew - I'm going to toss all those old, backlogged posts, and forget about them. I'm just going to continue my blog from today. Maybe someday, when I'm free, I'll go back and write about what happened this summer/fall, but I doubt it. Chances are, no one will read it anyways, but hey, you never know.

If I do miss a blog post, for whatever reason, I'll fill it in on the following Sunday - that'll be my catch-up day. Sometimes I get lazy again (it's a medical condition) - or my new thing of the day takes longer than a day. I'll try not to leave everything until Sunday though.

I don't even know why I'm apologizing.

The Crooked Cue

Today, I went with Hobo and Girlfriend to a new bar.

Hobo is so named because he once spent a week on my couch, and Girlfriend is called girlfriend because she is my girlfriend. It's pretty simple.

Anyways, we went to The Crooked Cue, which is in Port Credit, near the waters of Lake Ontario. Despite the stench of the dead-cat-polluted water, the bar itself is actually in a really nice location. I could almost say it's the city's 'club scene', but I won't because that would be an embarrassment.

The Cue is nice in the sense that it has over 20 billiard tables. That's the game known as pool, or snooker, or a variety of other stupid-sounding names, wherein you poke a ball at other balls with a long stick. This is starting to sound like a gay porn.

We didn't end up playing pool, but we did try a variety of drinks. I had a 'James Bond'. It's what James Bond drinks in the James Bond movies.

Hobo had a beer brewed in a local microbrewery. I tried some and it was surprisingly good for a beer I suspect has large amounts of water from the nearby lake.

[Local residents.]

FanExpo 2010

Today, I took Girlfriend to FanExpo.

For those of you who are cool and have a life (like Girlfriend), FanExpo is basically an annual event where geeks get together in ridiculous costumes and squeal over comic books, anime, scifi, and whatever. I am one of them.

There are typically very famous celebrities in attendance. This year, we had the original Batman and Robin, Adam West and Burt Ward.

We also had Summer Glau, the new Terminator, and also an actress in Dollhouse. And Firefly (I didn't want to bring up the F-word).

I also caught a glimpse of Stan Lee, creator of Marvel Comics (Spiderman, Iron Man, etc.). Excelsior!

I ended up buying silly things like a zombie hunting license. Girlfriend looked exasperated but I know that means she's secretly impressed.

Waitress Pickups

Today, I managed to semi-successfully hit on a waitress. If by accident.

I was at Jack Astor's with a few friends from high school. I arrived late, and in the middle of a warzone. One of my friends had already gotten the waitress' name wrong, and the others were busy drawing pictures of her various tattoos on the paper tablecloth.

What happened next was completely by accident. Which obviously shows that I can pick up girls without even trying.

Anyways, I felt bad for the girl - she was cute, after all - so I wrote an apology on the tablecloth, and when she walked by, I directed her attention to it. She smiled, gave me a playful shove, and said, "You're cute!" before walking away.

Everyone else at the table stared, before calling me a traitor. I have never been more proud to be an asshole.

Violet Hill

Today I learned how to play Violet Hill on my guitar.

That's about it. It's a pretty slow day.

Weed Whacker

Today, a friend and I spent two hours hacking down weeds in our backyard.

During the summer, our backyard went from a perfectly normal patio to a hideous tangle of vines resembling the darkest parts of the Amazon rainforest. I've never been to the Amazon, but I've watched The Jungle Book, and Disney is a credible source of information.

[Mustache of Authori-tay!]

Anyways, I used a machete. My housemate used a shovel. Together, we made like Wesley Snipes in Blade and carved a vicious path through the weeds. The plants will sing of the genocide we lay upon them for generations. Or they would, if any still lived.

Insane

Today I beat an insane computer in Starcraft.

Considering that the computer-controlled players in this game are at par with some of the best human players, I'm pretty proud of myself. I'm less proud because I exploited a cheap glitch in their programming. But I'm more proud because I'm a mechatronics engineer and exploiting robots is WHAT I DO.

[Especially insane robots who look like governors.]

P.S. If the robot revolution has occurred and this blog post is brought up at my meatbag trial: The following line is true. The previous line is false. Humanity, I'd like my statue to be made out of squirrel babies. Thanks.

Sleepover

Today I ended up at the WestEnd. It's the local bar. I don't know exactly how I ended up there, since I woke up about 50km away in another city. But that's beside the point.

Sunday nights is typically open mike night at the WestEnd. There's always one married couple that play together. They have 'residency' which is a fancy way of saying they own the place. Not literally, but through their heartfelt music and soulful lyrics and the heart-trembling strum of their guitars.

Did someone put Rohypnol in my drink?

Anyways, the new thing of the night was going back to my pad and lending two girls the use of my PJs so they could sleepover. Insert obvious joke about having two girls in my pants.

They slept on the couch, but my girlfriend was in my bed, so I wasn't too fussed.

London Tap House

Today I assaulted a security guard.

By accident.

He was pushing my girlfriend and she was crying! Why don't these guys wear uniforms or something?

At least I didn't get kicked out.

Kinda wish I had though. That would've been cool.

[This is the face of AWESOME.]

Umi Sushi

Today I went with a group of friends for sushi.

There was female friend who sells shoes, bisexual male friend with too many shoes, hobo friend who is obsessed with cars, token black guy with the hat, girlfriend with questionable sanity, and myself.

My girlfriend likes sushi, because it's small and neat. I think that's a subtle reference to my lil' guy but innuendo like that usually passes right over my head. Actually, it passes over her head more often than not, since I'm usually on top. BUT ANYWAYS.

The new thing wasn't the sushi, but the group of people. Most of the attendees hadn't met before, because half of them were my friends from high school, and the other half from my university, so I was the social linchpin holding the group together. You can probably predict how that turned out.

[Officer, I swear I just farted once.]

Streetsville Indie

Today, I went back to the area that Cuchulainn's was in. No, I didn't get beat up, mainly because I had the foresight (re: laziness) to write yesterday's post today, and backlog it.

I ended up going for coffee instead, at Second Cup (the hobo's Starbucks). I had... a vanilla hot chocolate? I think that's what it was, because it made me feel like buying Teva sandals and listening to Good Charlotte (c'mon hatemail).

I also wore a purple shirt, which I haven't done since I was in first grade. It is the most indie shirt I own:

[Imagine this, in purple. Hey, that guy sort of looks like me.]

We ended up wandering around in an empty parking lot talking about jazz and cars, then my friend pissed off some Mexicans at a burrito place, but I think my shirt scared them off.

Cuchulainn's

Today, I tried out a new pub with a couple of my friends. It's called Cuchulainn's, apparently pronounced, "Kuh-KUH-Linn's" because Irish people are crazy. It's okay, no one reads this blog anyways, and even if they did, Ireland doesn't have the Internet. I eventually ended up calling it Cthulu's Irish Pub.

According to their website, the pub is named after the Irish version of Hercules. I don't know what a pub like this is doing in Streetsville, where the average population consists of guys who think American Eagle pink polos and spray-on tans are a good idea.

I'm going to get beat up next time I go there, aren't I?

Starcraft 2

Today, I caved in and bought Starcraft 2.

I also helped someone assemble a coffee table.

Story: My housemate's coffee table was a ~$35 piece of tree junk that fell apart every time you put a glass/remote/porn mag on it. Tired of having to reassemble it every time we breathed on it just a bit too hard, he decided to go out to ikea and buy a sturdy, much more expensive, yet classy coffee table.

We ended up picking one that felt like it weighed more than the earth itself. Assembling it, like all things of ikea, was some sort of magical procedure that used a screwdriver in lieu of a wand.

The same housemate was also playing Starcraft 2 when I walked in later. He doesn't even play as many strategy games as I do, and he had it before me. That tipped the scales and forced my inner geek to go out and buy a copy.

So don't wait up for any new posts. I'll probably be too busy sexing up some zerglings.

Vectorizing

Today, I learned how to vectorize photos.

Don't judge me based on the websites I frequent, but I found the instructions for vectorizing on a notorious internet message board (Internet rules 1 & 2). Basically, this:

[In Soviet Russia, cartoon draws you!]

I took a photo of myself and my girlfriend on the London Eye (see posts dating about two months ago), and spent about an hour fiddling with it. Yeah, I have a lot of spare time, but hey, at least I wasn't watching the Nanny 911 marathon instead.

Anyways, here are the results:

[Please excuse the cuteness of this picture. It was the only one I could find that didn't include sex.]

Xenomorphs

Today, I watched Aliens for the first time.

[Mouth vagina.]

I was at a friend's party, and it came on the TV. For a self-proclaimed nerd, I've always surprised myself at how long it takes me to see the most popular sci-fi flicks. It took me 5 years to see The Matrix, I still haven't seen the original Terminator, and I just watched Alien a month or two ago. Fellow geeks, I know I'm an embarrassment (wow, geeks are ashamed of me?). But I'm working on it.

I mean, I'm working on being less of an embarrassment to geeks, and more of an embarrassment to everyone else.

The Crystal

Today I visited the Michael Lee-Chin Crystal at the Royal Ontario Museum.

Stalkers out there, now you can narrow my location down to within a few kilometers. For everyone else, the ROM is one of Canada's biggest and most extensive museums. They're also filthy rich.

[Must be all those 'special exhibits' they have.]

So is Michael Lee-Chin, who is supposedly the richest guy in Canada, and according to my friend, drives a Ferrari and owns 4 iPads. We suspect he uses them for frisbee practice.

The favourite hobby of the rich is to get together with other rich people and spend their money on something so ridiculously over the top it drives the common man mad with confusion. That's apparently what the ROM and Michael Lee-Chin did. This is the Michael Lee-Chin Crystal:

[It's like a church giving birth to an alien spacecraft, no?]

It boggles the mind what the architects were thinking. My guess is that they were playing with a bag of Doritos and too much vodka. Nevertheless, despite its obvious disharmony with the surrounding 100 year old architecture, I couldn't help but feel a modicum of admiration for the people who managed to make it stay up like that.

Inside, it serves as the lobby to the museum, so no, it isn't filled with candy/robots/strippers. It's just a very eye-catching landmark in an otherwise rather dull city. If this is what the future is like, I need to start drinking more.

Alien Swarm

Today I downloaded (for free!) and played Alien Swarm.

It's a fun little online game, where you control a space marine and shoot aliens, while trying to discover what happened to the infested military base.

[Obviously, his testicle is his weak point.]

It's entirely free, so I suggest that you go download it. My Steam name is Jokeslayer, so feel free to look me up if you feel like playing with a total noob.

Perseid Meteor Shower

Today, I went to another back-country, abandoned road in the middle of the night to see the annual Perseid meteor shower.

It was the same group of amateur astronomers I went with to catch the Aurora (see previous posts), and our trip was just as eventful as last time. Which means, we didn't see anything.

Oh, we saw one shooting star. But for something as famous as the Perseids, where a meteor supposedly falls every minute, the night sky seemed oddly inanimate. Maybe we were just in a bad location, or arrived at the wrong time, or maybe all the meteors were eaten by a space octopus. We'll never know.

Casino Night

Today, I went to a Casino for the first time. I also spent more money per second than ever before.

[Sad face.]

Holy crap guys, gambling is expensive.

A friend and I went down to Casino Niagara (It's in Niagara Falls) on a spur-of-the-moment whim. Actually, no - we've been talking about going for a while, but spontaneously. So I suppose it was a planned spur-of-the-moment. Anyways, the Casino itself is pretty small - just two small circular floors - but there are a lot of shiny machines displaying various types of fruit and very, very large and tempting amounts of cash.

I decided to play it safe and put aside a set amount of money to spend, and no more. I've never gambled before, and I don't believe in spending money I haven't earned, so I wasn't looking to make a profit. Instead, I thought of it as paying some money to have fun and learn something about black holes.

I played some slots to get acquainted with losing my money. And yeah, I ended up losing 5 bucks to the one-armed bandit. Eventually, my friend convinced me to try out the card tables. I was wary because everyone there looked pretty high class in their suits and dresses, plus the dealer looked like a Nazi from his frozen expression and robotic movements. We ended up playing Blackjack, in which I put down $45 dollars in chips, which is about 3 rounds.

I lasted about 6 rounds, which wasn't too bad for my first time, but I made the mistake of playing my winnings when I should have just hung on to them. It was interesting though, as I ran my hands through empty pockets. The guy next to me was dying, which made me feel much better about myself.

Anyways, moral of the story - don't gamble unless you're prepared to lose. We ended up going to an arcade afterward, where I spent $10 to shoot a lot of targets and play with a plastic sword, so I guess I'm a much better gamer than a gambler.

L4D Expert

Today, I beat a stage in Left 4 Dead 2 on expert difficulty.

To give you the scope of this feat, consider that each zombie hit takes away 1/5th of your lifespan, and that you're surrounded by at least 6 zombies for about 50% of the game. Also consider that you're rarely given any healing items, and that the biggest zombie, the Tank, has over 8000 hit points. This ends up with a team of four people taking at least 45 seconds to mow it down, while it can kill each person in one hit.

[Also, it looks like this.]

So yeah, it's pretty difficult.

Luckily I had a good team with me, some high school friends that play the game fairly often (probably too much). My computer isn't top of the line so it has some difficulty rendering frames, which causes me to lag out on a regular basis like an overweight asthmatic running the Tour de France.

Hobo Bag

Today I slept in a plastic garbage bag.

Okay, so I was camping, and it was raining. So I used four black garbage bags and duct tape to waterproof my sleeping bag. Unfortunately, rain got in anyways and I ended up sleeping in a sack full of water. So much for a pleasant night's sleep.

I was actually inside a tent at the time, but the material of the tent walls are too thin to block the torrents of rainwater. I ended up duct taping another set of bags to the roof of my tent, until a puddle began to form above my head and I had to funnel it out of the door.

I know some homeless people that sleep in bags, except theirs are made of much thicker material and lots of scavenged rubber that are haphazardly sewn together. The problem I found was that the material is entirely airtight, which makes sweat and skin respiration really uncomfortable.

It was like I was marinating in my own fluids.

Aurora Hunting

Today, I went on a road trip to find the Aurora Borealis.

For those of you in my area, you may have read in the papers that the Aurora was going to be particularly strong a few hours ago, due to a solar flare or something astronomical like that.

[I wanted to see this.]

A friend called me up and asked if I'd be willing to hop in his car and head towards some backwater, middle-of-nowhere country road so that we could see the sky without the interference of the city lights. Nothing sketchy about hanging out in the middle of the night in a pitch-black, back-country road right?

Unfortunately, we didn't get to see the Aurora, because the lights are caused by solar particles entering the earth's atmosphere. Emphasis on solar, which means the lights are paradoxically visible only during the daytime, when the sun is still up, but during the evening, where it's dark enough to view them.

[Instead, I got this.]

Even though I didn't get to see the Aurora, I still caught a rare view of the night sky that we don't get in the big cities, plus, I got to take a detour out of everyday life.

Major Busy

Sorry again.

I haven't been uploading recently because there is just too much going on. I left England a while ago and I've been in Malaysia for the past month. The internet connection here is still on dial-up, so it's a bit difficult to upload anything. However, I have been doing TONS of new things each and every day, so I promise I will upload as soon as I can get a decent block of time.

Some of the new points, in brief:

I went snorkelling in the South China sea
I boated through a sea storm
I explored the Mulu cave system
I visited Mt. Kinabalu, the tallest mountain in Southeast Asia
I tried to ride a motorbike
I visited a native 'Penan' settlement
I took a longboat ride down the Melinau river
I inadvertantly flew to Sibu
I watched a Malaysian cultural dance
I tasted a 'burned coconut'
I visited the Kundasang mountain village
I tried a 'fish spa'
I went to a traditional longhouse village in the Borneo highlands
I took a sampan boat ride across the Sarawak river
I buzzed my hair off
I sang karaoke at my cousin's nightclub
I bought boozerunner beer

And many more to come. Keep checking back, I'll hopefully update soon.

#60. Leaving England, Hello Malaysia

Backdated... I don't know. Let me check my time zone.

Today/Tomorrow/Yesterday I hopped on a plane, said goodbye to England, and flew to Malaysia. The time zones are all messed up, so bear with me here.

There weren't too many new things to experience on the flight, since I've taken this exact route numerous times in the past when visiting family. The difference this time was that my girlfriend was with me, and that I had the assistance of alcohol to make sleeping a lot easier.

Ever been stuck on a plane for 12 hours? You end up watching the same movies over and over again. For someone like me, who craves new experiences, being stuck in the same spot for an entire waking day is paramount to torture.

Actually, it wasn't all that bad. I'm of legal drinking age now, so for the first time, I was able to drink on the plane. Nothing fancy, just a few beers. I mean, they don't really have Pasion Azteca on board or anything. Not that I would be able to afford it if they did.

[At $3.5 million, the butler better be included]

#59. Stonehenge

Backdated Monday, May 24.

Today, I got to see one of the Wonders of the World, the big collection of rocks known as Stonehenge.

[Two seconds later, it got up and ran away.]

Did you know that these rocks weigh over 5 tons each? And that they're originally from the seashore over 15 km away? And that over half of each stone is actually underground? And that together, they form an advanced solar calendar? Neither did I until today.

[Did you also know the Druids were a bunch of dirty old men?]

As an engineering student, I was struck by the technical difficulties of constructing something so complex with only stone-age tools like ropes and pulleys. Can you imagine lifting a five ton rock with nothing but rope made from plants and scaffolding made from wood? Ridiculous. Then again, theory has it that aliens made it. Weirdly enough, that sounds more logical when you're standing in front of a giant stone calendar in the middle of an empty field.

#58. Carmen!

Backdated Sunday, May 23th.

I have to make an apology here for delaying so long in my posting. My laptop was in repairs for an extended period, and unfortunately, the temporary one I was using didn't have the required plug-ins needed to use Blogger. However, I'm back from my trip now, so expect many updates.

Today, I went to see Carmen at the O2. The O2 is an enormous stadium located in London's East End, where they hold concerts and performances. I went with my aunt and uncle, as well as the wonderful girlfriend, to attend a viewing of Carmen, which is an opera.

I had never been to an opera before, so it was a new experience. Unfortunately, it wasn't one I really enjoyed. The singers were amazing, but were so 'operatic' that I couldn't understand a word they were saying, so the story was completely lost on me. By operatic, I mean that they were telling a story through very high-pitched, glass-shattering sopranos, and at other times, low and rumbling basses.

[Risque, too]

However, the props and stage were very cool. The opera was performed on a round center stage with the audience at an entire 360 viewing angle. There was a scene where the citizens celebrate a carnival, which included unicyclists and firebreathers.

Overall, it's not an experience I would pay for again, but at least I can now pretend I have some semblance of culture.

#57. Hampton Court Palace

Backdated Saturday, May 22.

Today, I went to Hampton Court Palace. It used to belong to King Henry VIII. You know, the guy who had a fetish for severed heads?

[He had like, 6 wives!]

Fortunately, the palace didn't harbour any evidence of his weird habits, but there was a really weird toilet located in the middle of the hallway.

[Nice plush seat. Why is there a lock?]

I went with my cousin and his wife, and my lovely lady, on an audio tour that took us over four hours to complete, including a picnic break we took within the palace gardens. There was a lot of information about England's history, with a special focus on Henry's relationships, including the two wives he had beheaded (what a nice guy) and the founding of the Church of England (because the Pope wouldn't let him get divorced). Consider it my English history lesson.

There were a lot of weird frescoes on the walls, and a lot of oddly shaped vases and pots in the bedrooms. There was even a bad-ass falconer to scare away the pigeons.

[Nice place to live, if you don't mind the history.]

#56. One Year Anniversary

Backdated Friday, May 21.

Today, my girlfriend and I celebrated our one year anniversary since we started dating.

[We jump around on a day-to-day basis.]

Though I've had long-term relationships in the past, none of them have ever passed the one-year mark. I take it as a good sign that my wonderful counterpart can at least bear with my numerous failings and still love me despite my quirks.

We celebrated by taking a trip on the London Eye. For those of you not familiar with good old England, the Eye is an enormous Ferris wheel on the banks of the River Thames. It used to be the biggest in the world until China kicked its ass.

[Still a great view. And the city is nice too.]

I've learned so much from my relationship that I can't possibly post all of it here, but I can sum it up to say that I've discovered so much about love and women, and also, a lot about myself. Not all of it is good, but there's far more good than bad.

#55. Sister Act

I will never understand women, and I don’t even attempt the fruitless task of trying to, but if there’s one thing that baffles more than the rest, it’s the phenomenon of shopping.

I enjoy buying myself new things. At a stretch, I’ll even say it’s sometimes enjoyable to buy things for others. But the rabid ferocity in which the female gender attacks the queues and racks of the department store is nearly horrifying in its regard.

I had the misfortune and lack of foresight to appear busy on the day my wonderful girlfriend, bless her, insisted that we had waited and delayed long enough and that our English shopping experience was far overdue. Reluctantly, I agreed, since I too had to buy a few souvenirs for my friends back home. Unfortunately, she decided to go to the biggest and most expensive department store in England, and dare I say, the world: Harrod’s, home to dreams made reality, and then cruelly crushed beneath the heavy boot of luxury.

How can I describe such a place to you? It’s simultaneously a place of wonder and disgust. The decor is impeccable, the lighting golden, the presentation downright stunning. Multiple lifts (elevators) carry you through floors upon floors of products that seem thoughtfully placed to obstruct you every where you wish to walk, practically jumping out from behind corners and from the inside of display cases to catch your eye and scream, “Buy me!” It’s altogether a nearly magical place.

On the other hand, the place could not be more frustrating. Navigation aside, each product is also designed to thwart their own purchase at the last moment. You may come across a beautiful gown, one so well-made you could swear it was woven by faeries out of morning dew. You may be so enchanted by this dress you immediately lay hands on it as if it may disappear at any moment. Then you might check the price tag, expecting a vast sum, a queen’s ransom that might buy the whole of England if the queen was not safely sitting on her throne in Buckingham Palace. Then reality strikes as you discover the dress costs twice as much.

I am not rich, and neither is my girlfriend, and so, we spent most of our time browsing, and not buying. Only twice did we make a purchase, the first to buy some pistachio Turkish Delight, and the second, some Macaroons.

The rest of our day was still quite eventful. We attended a musical, by the name of Sister Act, in London’s Palladium Theatre. This comedy, based on a film by Whoopie Goldberg, was as delightful as the original, with the additional of a live-cast and many scenes accentuated by the random bursting into of song. Altogether immensely entertaining, as the storyline was good and the acting was devoid of slip-ups.

To recap: Visited Harrod’s of London, and watched Sister Act in the Palladium theatre.

#54. Mickey Mouse

Today, we continued our tour by visiting Big Ben’s clock tower. If you have the Twitters, I strongly advise you to add BigBenClock to your list of contacts. We also walked down the Thames, seeing along the way various buildings and attractions, including Parliament, The London Eye, Tate Modern, The Globe, and a terrifying Mickey Mouse with tiny, beady eyes.

[BONG BONG BONG]

Recap: Walked from Westminster to London Bridge, saw a creepy-ass Disney knockoff.

[Terrifying.]

#53. Cockatrice

Today was our first day in Jolly Old England. I’m unsure as to why they call it that, as most of the people we’ve walked by on the street are quite young, and seem actually quite hostile, but that may be because I was sitting down in the middle of the sidewalk with my girlfriend frantically tugging on my sleeve and hissing violently at me.

We started our day in Piccadilly Circus where we viewed the statue of Eros (Erotic love, teehee), walked over to Leicester Square Gardens (pronounced ‘lay-chester’), had mini-pies at The Cambridge, visited Trafalgar Square and Nelson’s column, and then were suddenly interrupted by the appearance of sword-wielding horsemen at the street crossing. We continued on to St. James’ Park, and finally Buckingham Palace.

But the most bizarre moment of the day came when we arrived back at my cousin’s home. Some chef on TV taxidermied a pig and a goose together to make a cockatrice, a mythical animal that had the head of a chicken and a snake’s tail. I don’t know where this chef got his information from.

Recap: Toured London with a chick I dig, watched the unfortunate construction of a Cockatrice.

#52. England sans Family

Today, I hopped on an airplane and flew to England for the first time without my family. Then, I didn’t know when to update my blog because of the time change. Then, I realized I was jetlagged and promptly passed out.

#51. Vietnam Vet

Before leaving for my trip, I visited my aging grandma in her nursing home. Despite her location and the company of the screaming elderly, she seems quite at ease and prone to random outbursts of song, although I’m never sure whether that’s a sign of well-being or just a general unawareness of her surroundings.

While visiting, I was approached by a man I’ve seen before, who, with his colourful hair, looks out of place amongst all the older gentlemen. However, he’s bound to a wheelchair because of a terrible accident in which his head was split open. I know as much because he pretty much told me.

He’s actually quite a clever man despite his injury, and often poses riddles to me, but I’ve never really had a conversation with him. I don’t know why today was different, but we started making casual chitchat, and before long, I was drawn into his stories of being in the Vietnam War, on the side of the communists.

I won’t relate our conversation here, but in general, it was interesting to see the view the ‘other side’ had of the American army at the time. In short, his opinion was that Vietnam is being repeated in the current Iraqi conflict, and that ‘the winner writes the history books.’ I suppose that’s a fair view coming from someone who fought against the U.S. more than two decades ago.

#50. Travel Insurance

In planning for our trip, I had to go buy some Travel Insurance, lest I be horribly maimed or attacked by some sort of marsupial. Sorry for the short post, but it wasn’t really that exciting. I could elaborate and make something up, but I’m too lazy to entertain you today.

#49. 120+

For the past few weeks, I’ve been attempting to bowl at least every Monday. No, I’m not trying to bring back the 60s.

Today, I bowled over 120. I’m pretty sure I’ve bowled 120 at least once before, probably when I was a kid, but ever since I started bowling in university, I’ve first aimed to score over 100, and today was the first time I managed to do so. Next on the list is 200. Don’t wait up for that.

#48. Flight Booking

I’m going on a trip.

No, really. I’m flying off to England, and Malaysia, nearly for the entire summer. While my low self-esteem permits me from assuming anyone has the slightest interest in stalking me, my paranoia is not as easily convinced, and so, to any potential stalkers I may have, I am sorry but I’ll be away for quite a while. If you’d like to buy a ticket and follow me, that’s okay. Just mark down, “Other: Stalking subject of mentally unsound affections” when asked of your reasons for travel.

So today I booked a flight for the first time in my life. Previous trips, I relied mainly on my mother to fix the details for me, since she has a better head for finances than I do, and I didn’t know whether a $2000 ticket to the house down the street was a good price or not. Fortunately, my Asian bargaining instincts have finally matured, leaving me reasonably capable of planning my own flight itinerary.

#47. Super Mario Galaxy

When I was a child, I spent days playing Super Mario 64, a nightmare of a video game that swallowed up many potential hours outside, turning my skin into the pasty, clammy whiteness of a Caucasian man – I mean, a fish.

Unfortunately, I recently found a game to rival my former addiction to Super Mario 64 – and of course, it’s the spiritual sequel and one of the newest titles in the series, Super Mario Galaxy.

I spent the past week beating it, and today I finally did so. I don’t think I need to review it, because this is not a review blog, and also because the rabid addiction I display when playing a game I really like is should be enough of a review for you.

#46. G

I obtained my G today. Not the risqué underwear, but the driving license. I am now able to drink a bit before taking to the road.

#45. Punch Out

One of my friends recently graduated and has bought a condominium near the university. Why he would deign to live so close to the place where I presume so many of his hopes and dreams were crushed, I don’t know. However, another friend and I visited, and while the location could be improved upon, the apartment itself is bright and well-furnished – a far cry from the shady student house he lived in before. It’s an interesting display and example of how the student mentality is near-forcefully removed upon graduation. There are no wrappers on the floor, no collection of beer cans, no stolen road pylons and whatnot you usually find in student houses.

We spent a bit of time playing Punch Out for the Nintendo Wii before bidding him goodbye. It was the first time I’ve played and I’m glad to say I’m terrible at it. Boxing is silly, and video game boxing is twice as bad.

#44. Arkham Asylum

Mankind has always been intrigued by the night. Darkness is the inspiration for many a poet’s opus, and has simultaneously terrified and exhilarated men for generations.

Meanwhile, bats are one of mankind’s fears. Creatures of the night, they bring frantically flapping horror into the hearts of men the world over. Vampires, ghosts, spirits – all these have attributed to the bat, which in reality, is really no more than a winged rodent.

And, although seemingly unrelated unless you read the entry title, video games have entertained men for... about one or two generations, and aren’t really that scary unless you’ve been playing Silent Hill in the dark.

Fortunately, all three come together in the epic game, Batman: Arkham Asylum. Which I started playing today.

#43. Metalworking

In keeping with the past few days of warfare and making-things, I spent today making a large knife out of galvanised steel. It seems unlikely I’ll ever find a use for this knife, as I don’t plan to go to war, and I’m not nearly badass enough to stab somebody. Chances are, it will sit in my room as another odd decoration, or I may use it to spread butter on toast.

Just a quick explanation of the process: I purchased a large, 4 foot plate of steel from a hardware store, and then left it in my yard for a few months while I spent time forgetting about it. I eventually hacked off a foot-long piece from it, then cut that in half as I realized 12 inches is a bit ridiculous for a pocketknife. Using a rotary saw, I cut the blade slope out of the steel, and then used a grinder to shape the edge. Finally, I cut a few notches to make a handle, which I plan to wrap in something suitable, like cloth, tape, or liquorice.

#42. Spray-Dye T-Shirt

I bought a white shirt a few months ago. It was a cheap thing from Winners. For those of you that don’t know, Winners is a small department store that sells the things you’d find in an Italian household where all the furniture is covered in plastic.

I also went to Michael’s and picked up a bottle of spray-on black fabric dye. For those of you that don’t know, Michael’s is a small art store that sells the things you’d find in the cluttered house of a graduate visual arts student who is trying to make a living by knitting plastic flowers. If you’ve ever tried knitting plastic flowers, you know how aimless this is, and if you find that you really are knitting plastic flowers, you should probably redefine one of your search terms.

Anyways, I made a T-shirt. It was a very simple process, but one that I’ve not used before. You merely spray the dye over a stencil you’ve placed on the shirt, being careful to place a piece of cardboard/plastic/carbon nanofibre inside to prevent the design from leaking through. It’s much easier than bleaching your design into a black shirt, but also takes much longer to dry – about 3 days.

I need to point out that wearing your own designs makes you appear self-confident and artistic – but only if your designs are good. Otherwise, you may spend your time in an imaginary air of sophistication while you parade around with nothing but a bald wombat on your chest.

#41. Cod Liver Oil

I started taking Cod Liver Oil today, at the insistence of my mother. Not much to report here, expect that it tastes like

#40. Risk

Warfare has almost always been the domination of men. Women in the military were few and spread, until the years after WW2, where they proved just as capable and possibly even better fighters than men. Nowadays, women are found on the frontlines, much to the mild bewilderment of the men, who seem confused to find themselves next to a female and may try to pick her up.

Despite that, I have discovered that, at least in my own personal experience, the war-room is still the domination of men, when I played Risk with my female counterpart. It was an interesting experience, punctuated by my lady’s random complaints and her enthusiastic encouragements to her plastic soldiers, accentuated by her appetite for destruction and pillaging of my territories. That sounds like some sex thing. I apologize (not really).

#39. Rock Climbing

Ah, the great outdoors. With towering redwoods, the smell of pine in the air, the fresh breeze in your face, the hint of ice cold rivers on your tongue and the rush of the wind in your ears. Man has always been at home in nature, and what more manly thing is there than to haul yourself up the face of precarious cliffs with naught but your hands and legs and own prodigious skill?

Unfortunately, we were indoors, strapped into harnesses, slowly and painfully clambering up a ladder-like protrusion of artificial rocks, each painted in some garish color by a blind factory worker in China. And you know what? It was still immensely enjoyable, and one of the best experiences on the blog so far.

I recommend rock climbing to anyone with at least two limbs and a head. You really need nothing more, although you might require sufficient body strength to lift your own weight.

#38. Herbal Remedies

I spent today reading a book about Chinese herbal remedies. I was looking for something new to do, and I noticed it sitting on my mother’s cook book shelf. I nabbed it down and started reading. More like an index than anything else, it lists various herbs and the effects they have on the human body. Certain mixtures are good for differing parts of the body, such as the clearing of the respiratory system, or aid in digestion. Most of the information can be more easily found online, but this book was written before Al Gore discovered the internet, so I suppose it comes in quite handy if the power goes out, or if you live in a ditch without DSL.

#37. Cosmetology

Backdated Sunday.

So I got home - my parental home, actually - and I happened to mention my activity over the past few days. Big mistake.

"You helped your friend move in, and you cleaned your storage room? Why don't you ever help out the same around here? Don't you love your mother, who had to endure the stinging pain of childbirth in order to bring you into this world?"

Okay, I may have made the last part up, but it doesn't change the fact that I was guilt-tripped so hard into spending an entire day in the basement, going through old clothing and ancient toys, trying to sort out a guest room that had become an ad-hoc storage facility.

It had never really been sorted out before. There was a lot of old stuff that I used to play with. I'll admit I spent a few hours playing with a Playmobil train set, but my mom thought I was still cleaning, so it's okay.

Anyways, the particularly new thing was finding a project folder my sister did in grade 11, in her cosmetology class. For those of you not familiar with the world of women, that's makeup and hairstyling. When I first heard a few years ago that she was taking cosmetology, I went on a little trip on how it was so cool she was taking cosmology and learning about outer space, before I realized my mistake, and that she was not nearly that cool.

Did you know Sarah Jessica Parker's face is considered 'oblong' and not 'equine'? I'm sorry, that was unfair. At least her head isn't 'Inverted Triangle'. That just sounds silly. At least now I'm slightly more cultured, and run less of a chance of getting slapped for calling a women's head 'box-like'.

#36. Fancy Pantry

Backdated Saturday.

We have a storage room under the basement stairs in our student house. It looks sort of like this:

[Instead of bricks, imagine television sets.]

After talking it over with a few of my housemates, we decided to use that area for a pantry. You know, non-perishable foods, dry cereal, dead bodies, etc. The problem was, there was so much clutter under there that there wasn't any room to walk in, let alone put up some shelves.

Most of the stuff was moved in when we all moved in - the 'I don't really need this, but I might in the future' kind of junk you usually toss in your garage. Unfortunately, it all just ended up in that tiny, stuffy storage area - and I'm pretty sure it bred. Scientific American, you may want to look into this.

Anyways, I pretty much single-handedly powered through that entire room and cleared out everything, then threw up some shelves, some nice wallpaper, drapes, table lamps, ceramic tea sets, etc. The other housemates were supposedly 'busy'. Pft. Probably another funeral or something.

#35. Wired for Fun

Backdated Friday.

I wired together an entertainment system today.

My friend recently moved into my student house, and with him, he brought a literal truckload of electronics. The Xbox is wired to the TV which is wired to a media center, which is wired to speakers, which is linked to a BlueRay player, linked to an HD-DVD player, which is connected to a Windows server, etc etc. It is very complicated:

[Now, where was the red wire supposed to go?]

We even have speakers in our bathroom. They're remotely connected to the media server so I can play music while I poop. It's all very exciting.

Anyways, I helped set it up. The speakers had to be mounted on the walls. My friend is fancier than me so we used screws and drills instead of duct tape and push pins, like I suggested:

[This isn't my child; I found it on the internets.]

It makes our living room look a lot nicer. I can finally pretend to live the life I've always dreamed about - a sensitive, artistic college student who listens to Beethoven while taking a crap.

#34. Oscilloscope Dismantling

Backdated Thursday.

This is a modern-day oscilloscope:

[No, it's not a fish finder.]

This is what they used to look like:

[Also not a fish finder.]

Guess which one I decided to disassemble?

I have an addiction to taking apart technology, especially technology that looks particularly difficult to move/disassemble/look at for long periods of time. It's partly being an engineering student, but also because I find it fun to sit in the sun and unscrew bolts. Don't ask what's wrong with me. There are enough Chinese kids in sweatshops as it is, it may be genetic.

So I ended up dismantling the entire thing. The end result was something like this:

[Might be a fish finder.]

#33. No Noobs

Backdated Wednesday.

So we have this little event in our faculty called 'No Noobs'. I'm not really allowed to say anything about it, expect that it involves copious amounts of drunken belligerence.

Anyways, it was a good time. I think I've done my penance.

#32. Rock Band

Backdated Tuesday

I met up with some friends from elementary school. Yeah, while other people are getting on with their lives and looking for jobs, I'm hanging out with the people I use to play Pokemon cards with (and still do).

We ended up playing Rock Band. For those of you who've been living in a cave for the past few years, it's a video game where you play pale imitations of real musical instruments in order to feel as if you have a modicum of talent. Ever see four grown men playing plastic drums and clicking buttons on a plastic guitar? It's a pretty sad sight.

Anyways, someone decided to play the hardest song on the hardest difficulty level, and I ended up with the microphone. For those of you that don't know me, I do play guitar and I do sing along, but in no way am I a talented songbird. Surprisingly enough, we made it through the song (after ten tries).

So chalk one up for finishing a panic attack Rock Band song. In no way does this indicate my real-life ability to sing, so don't expect it out of me.

#31. Sibling Levity

Backdated Monday.

My sister finished her exams, and I took her to a bar.

No pictures, because I'm sure my mother checks this blog, even if she pretends she's not interested in my life. Yes mom, I know locking me in the basement for my formative years was for my own good. No, I'm sure I turned out okay.

Anyways, my little sister, bless her, just finished her first year at university, without ever going to a bar. Imagine you're in first year and your wise, extremely cool older brother asks you to hang out with him - and you turn him down. Sometimes I wonder if my mom locked the wrong one of us up.

I took her to a quiet bar and was entirely responsible in the sense that I bought her a few drinks and let her sing 'Don't Stop Believing' all the way home at the top of her lungs.

#30. Gunblade

Backdated Sunday.

I went to see 'The Losers' in theatres. This isn't a movie critic's blog, so I'm not going to pass judgement on it. But if you like watching children get blown up, then I suggest you buy a ticket right now.

My date and I arrived early because we're indecisive and can only pick a movie to watch while standing in the lineup. We had some time to kill, so I let her use a helicopter gunship to shoot lots of missile-wielding robots:

[I made her stop after she started humming 'Ride of the Valkyries.' Plus we ran out of tokens.)

#29. Hose Repair

Backdated last Saturday (wow!)

Today I fixed a garden hose hanger using nothing but ingenuity and elbow grease. Seriously. this thing was in like, twenty tiny shards of plastic:

[Okay, not this bad.]

Anyways, I used duct tape, superglue, krazy glue, glue gun glue, screws and washers, and managed to cobble it back together. I don't have a picture of the finished product but this'll do:

[Hurrrrrgh.]

#28. The Moonside

Backdated Friday.

I finished my exams today - so new thing #1 is finishing my fourth year at university. Man, I hope I'm not getting stalked, because I think you guys have enough information now to find out where I live, the names of my family members, my favourite pair of underwear...

After exams, I ended up - no, not at a bar - but at Best Buy, where I turned in my laptop for the second time in two weeks. The stupid thing keeps coming back more broken than before, and since this is only the second repair, you can tell I am irritated to the point of not making much sense. I have a friend who happens to be the Geek Squad supervisor, so obviously I ragged on what a crappy product his store has provided me with. He also happens to be my sparring partner in martial arts, so I guess it was fortunate he was working and thus not permitted to kick in my head. You know, store policy and all.

The real fun started that night. I decided to drive downtown, about half an hour's ride away, to watch another friend play open-mike at The Moonside. He rents an apartment upstairs from angry Portuguese people, but I've never gone to visit, but hey, I was finished with exams, and I felt like listening to some European domestic violence. By that, I don't know if I mean the angry couple or the music.

I'll admit I got lost on the way. I ended up driving the wrong direction for 20 minutes before hitting the end of the highway. Mark that up as another, unexpected new thing: driving to the literal dead-end of a highway. Pretty terrifying when you're going 100kph and then suddenly rumble strips start smacking your head into the ceiling.

[FREEBIRD!]

I made it, eventually. The Moonside is a quiet bar, tended by a nice asian lady. The bar was nearly empty when we arrived, my friend lugging his guitar and some equipment, while I carried his amp like a serious roadie. While he set up, I ordered a pitcher of beer and sat down. That's when I noticed what I was drinking was not regular beer. It was cool beer.

[It tasted pretty normal though.]

The real highlights of the night started when an older African gentleman walked in. He had a heavy accent, and began drinking a storm. During the set, I would randomly turn around at some loud noise he would make, only describable as some sort of agitated yelping I assumed was singing. Eventually, to my chagrin and regret, he stumbled over and sat down across from me.

I couldn't understand him at first, because everything he said came packaged in an African brogue, and was accompanied by a literal spray of spit that erupted from his jowls like Pompeii. I pieced together parts of his conversation after my face was throughly drenched in what was probably AIDS or something. Sorry, that was inappropriate. Maybe it was malaria.

Anyways, he was talking about being an international crook - or cook. I honestly could not tell. In addition, he was describing some sort of religious rapture he had experienced. I could only assume, because he was shouting "Jesus!" repeatedly while swatting the air. I turned around at various points to find the female bartender glaring at the man like she was trying to pierce him with her laser vision.

It took ages for him to leave. He kept standing near my friend, who was performing, and swaying, then clumsily complimenting him on his singing or the music or his haircut or something. Eventually, he staggered out, upon which everyone gave a huge sigh of relief. But what came next was even worse.

This man walked in, dressed in leather and tight jeans. He looked like Richard Simmons with the sawn-off scalp of Mick Jagger surgically attached to his head. He was carrying a guitar - I think he said it was some big name brand like a Gibson. He immediately walked straight up to the stage and demanded to be put on next.

When he was told he had to wait, he got really pissed off. "I can play a thousand songs!" "Pink Floyd, and The Beatles!" "I'm a first-rate musician!"

The killer line was, "You have to leave. You have to leave when I play because I'm so good, no one deserves to hear me play."

I don't know if he was drunk or not, but I hope he was because then he'd at least have an excuse to say something like, "You have to make the hairs on my neck stand up," to which another performing guitarist said, "Man, I don't want to do that. That's weird."

He left too, after a lot of shouting insults and thinly veiled threats. It was a pretty wild night, which was weird for a quiet, empty bar. I guess it's the quality of the individual that counts over the quantity. I don't think I would've made it if it wasn't for the cool beer. I wonder what they put in this stuff anyways?

[Hemp beer?!]

#27. Sushi Blackout

This post should've been on Wednesday. My exam is tomorrow, but instead of studying I'm blogging. I don't know why. Maybe I've just given up on studying. Or maybe I'm possessed by the procrastination devil:

[Sloth is the devil. Or maybe the guy behind him.]

On Wednesday, I went out to a sushi place downtown, which is great because even though I was sick, there's no cure like pounds of raw fish-flesh and salty rice. Actually, that sounds a lot more unappetizing in text than I meant it to be.

And while we were eating, the power went out. All down the street. The world stopped. Cars crashed. Planes fell out of the sky. The righteous were taken up to heaven while sinners remained on earth, reeling in the wake of disaster. My sushi order didn't come.

In reality, all that really happened is the restaurant staff started talking excitedly, like it was some sort of planned surprise for a birthday or something, while the customers looked around in mild confusion, no doubt wondering whether their orders would be delayed. At our table, everyone simultaneously pulled out their cellphones and lit the screens, some even lighting the flash on the tiny camera to create as much ambient light as possible. We strategically placed them on the table under napkins to create mood lighting.

A couple of the waiters came over and spoke Chinese to me. I listened politely and nodded a lot. I didn't know what they were saying. They looked happy though, probably because I didn't pull a knife and demand to know where my meal was at.

Soon, the lights popped back on, and everybody clapped like it was some great magic trick. Then we went back to eating. It was like the staff was trying to make up for the disturbance because the quality of food and service improved drastically afterward. It goes to show that if you want to have an outstanding dinner, cut the power to the restaurant with a pair of insulated pliers.

I thought about doing a proper 'new thing' but the blackout was random and sudden enough that I think it counts for today.