Today, I managed to semi-successfully hit on a waitress. If by accident.
I was at Jack Astor's with a few friends from high school. I arrived late, and in the middle of a warzone. One of my friends had already gotten the waitress' name wrong, and the others were busy drawing pictures of her various tattoos on the paper tablecloth.
What happened next was completely by accident. Which obviously shows that I can pick up girls without even trying.
Anyways, I felt bad for the girl - she was cute, after all - so I wrote an apology on the tablecloth, and when she walked by, I directed her attention to it. She smiled, gave me a playful shove, and said, "You're cute!" before walking away.
Everyone else at the table stared, before calling me a traitor. I have never been more proud to be an asshole.
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