그 여자는 신문을 먹고

I'm really on a roll here. It's like I'm an actual blogger, and not just some guy who's trying to bring some meaning into his terrible, dull life.

So, there's a website I've been browsing for a while. It's called Duolingo and you can find it here: http://www.duolingo.com/. It has quick and easy lessons to learn new languages.

I've been picking up some German for fun. I also used it to pick up some Spanish when I went to Peru earlier this year. By the way, I did that. I flew to Peru with a friend and spent ten days wandering around ancient ruins. I forgot to mention it.

So, what can I say in German or Spanish? Very little. Here is a comprehensive list:

Spanish

Estoy en la tierra de ano ardiente - I am in the land of burning anus.
This came in very handy when we tried Peruvian Aji pepper sauce.

Me gusta la papas de la puta - I love bitch potatoes.
I have no idea why I learned this.

Donde estan mis putas - Where are my bitches.
Mr. Butlertron would be so proud. Wesley.

German

Das Madchen isst eine Zeitung - That girl is eating a newspaper.

Interesting thing about this one. I know how to say, "That girl is eating a newspaper," in over five languages.

That girl is eating a newspaper!
Cette fille est de manger un journal!
Onanoko wa shinbu otabete iru!
Esa chica es comer un periodical!
Na geh ni hai jr chr bao jr!
Das Madchen isst eine Zeitung!

And I have no idea why.

Life and Simulation

Huh.

I'm actually posting. Weird, eh?

So this past week has been pretty hectic. There's a lot of work to be done on my latest project. It's been keeping me prohibitively busy for the last month or so. Which means I haven't found much time to do anything particularly interesting.

Against my better judgement, I picked up a copy of 'The Last of Us', which is a new videogame for the PS3. It's another zombie game, where a particularly sinister fungus manages to infect humans and turn them into mushroom-faced monsters. It's very cool, very immersive, and if you're a fan of being scared out of your pants, I definitely recommend it.

I also beat a game called Torchlight 2. It was short but very fun, a good dungeon-romp with a lot of side-quests that were surprisingly long. I've been used to Diablo 3, a similar game with a very linear storyline, so it was refreshing to see a different take on the genre.

A lot of my time has gone to work and gaming. Fortunately, I've been doing some other things as well. I tried a new bubble tea shop near my place. From all observation, I think Asian people need a daily recommended dosage of tea to survive. If you cut me, I'd bleed a watery mix of dried leaves. Some people are connoisseurs. Other people, like me, are just fascinated by the fact that a drink can have chewy snacks in it.

I've also done a lot of work with my electronics hobby. I've had a small solar panel in my toybox for about a year, so I decided I would do something with it. I looked online and found a tutorial for what people call a 'Symet', which is short for 'Symmetrical'. It's basically a small solar-powered robot that scoots across a desk in a random path when exposed to light. The additional components cost me less than five bucks, and it was surprisingly simple to put together. The solar panel collects light and stores it up in a series of capacitors (batteries), and when there's enough power, it activates the motor and the whole contraption spins across the tabletop.

I want to buy a helium balloon from a party shop - you know the foil ones that last for ages? - and attach the Symet to it. If I put a propellor on the motor, it should, in theory, be able to drive around the room like a tiny blimp. I have no idea what I would do with it, but I think it'd be somewhat relaxing to watch a tiny robo-balloon float across my room bumping into things.

Back from the Dead

Hello Internet. So we meet again.

First off, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I suck. I've been away for so long that I forgot all about you. And I'm sure you forgot about me.

So many exciting things have happened in the past year. For a blog that was supposed to be updated daily, I really screwed up. You know how it is. Life gets busy, and you don't have the time to write, and then you forget.

I can't promise I'll be posting daily. I can promise that I'll try to drop by more often. Of course, there's a selfish motive behind what I'm saying. I hope that trying to keep this blog updated will also push me to do things I can write about. No one wants to read forty pages of posts all about menial boring stuff. To write about exciting things, I have to do exciting things. So consider this self-motivation.

I'll start off by giving a quick rundown of highlights from the past year.

I left my job in Detroit. The entire experience was something new, and exciting, but sometimes in the wrong ways. I learned valuable lessons about office politics, and dealing with clashes with management, and a whole slew of other lessons. It would take an entirely new blog to deal with it all.

Leaving the job was a new experience, because when I came back, I found things had changed while I was gone. Friends had gotten jobs, found and lost love, and so on. I had to do a lot of catching up, and it was a painful lesson that life moves on with or without you. I felt like I had been asleep for a year, and had woken up to a world slightly different.

Integrating back in was difficult at first. People change, including me. Some friends I had trouble getting to know again. Others, who had been acquaintances before, grew closer.

I think I'm only just getting back into the groove of things now. At first, when I came back, it felt like I was dreaming, since Detroit seemed so much realer, but now, Detroit is the dream, and I'm waking back up.

The bottom line is, I'm much happier. It was an awesome experience, but I'm glad to be home.

A few months after I came back, I started a new job with a local engineering company. It really highlighted the differences between Canadian and US labour. By that, I mean procedure, but also in mentality. While my job in America focused on profits, this company focuses on customer satisfaction and integrity.

One of the biggest changes was going from a salaried position to an hourly wage. I found myself being much happier with the increased freedom - typically, salary offers a lot of freedom, but I also have bankable hours now. That means that any overtime I work, I can save as vacation hours instead. If I work eight hours overtime in one week, I can take a full paid day off the next week, or whenever I choose. I have over 50 hours saved up, which is basically a full week of vacation! Awesome!

I moved back home with my family, but I'm searching for an apartment of my own - this time, I want to buy instead of rent. I'd like to live somewhere new. My company is opening new offices all over North America, which gives me a great opportunity to fulfill that goal.

Other than that, I've started geocaching as well! If you haven't heard of it, it's a great activity that involves searching for 'treasure chests' hidden by people all over the world. Here's the website: http://www.geocaching.com/. Basically, you use a GPS device to follow coordinates to a hidden 'cache', which is usually a camouflaged box with all sorts of trinkets inside. Check out the details on the site, it's really fun, and good exercise too.

I'll be updating as frequently as I can. There's a lot coming down the pipeline, so stay tuned!

WILLIAM.

Found an archery place. Played more billiards.

Tired. Shatnerian in exhaustion.

Nintendo Power

Okay, man, new stuff.

I found an archery place today. Nothing like shooting things with arrows - it just feels right, you know? Then I took one to the knee.

I hate that joke.

Moving on - I did a robot simulation for NINTENDO. Effing awesome.

I started playing more guitar, learned some new techniques, trying my hand at songwriting. I have this so far:

"The

Still a work in progress. I bought Darksiders and Crash Bandicoot for PS3 on PSN. The first was for fun, the second for nostalgia - and fun too, because retro games are still amazing. I need to get more controllers for my N64, and maybe some old games like Banjo Kazooie or MK4.

Started exploring more of the area - went to a bar and had a wine called Zombie Killer. It was fifteen dollars and I forgot to keep the bottle. Ah well.

I'll keep posting sporadically.

The Hedgehog

I went to Sonic today - US fast food chain. Got tater tots and a cheeseburger. Eating now.

Chicken, Chinese, Chainmail

Hoo boy.

Okay, so, last week, I went to KENTUCKY.

It was for a work trip, but obviously, I took advantage of all the area had to offer. Which means I ended up eating KFC alone in my hotel room.

You know what? It's actually better than it is up here in Canada.

So KFC in Kentucky, that's a new thing.

Sorry, my hands hurt. I just spent a few hours making a chainmail bracelet. Oh, what's that? I never mentioned I did chainmail? Well, I just started. Today. NEW THING ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.

I've been down at the gym a few times, and always pushing my limits. I don't know if that counts as a new thing, but I'm pressing more and more weight each week. I've simultaneously maintained my martial artistry, because the speed training stops me from getting inflexible.

And, what else? Chinese New Year came and went. Year of the Dragon. You know, bird flu came around in the year of the Rooster. Swine flu came back in the year of the Pig. The Mayans predicted 2012 would be the end of the world. I have a theory...

Anyways, I joined my family for a CNY dinner with a few other families - Ho, Ooi, and Chong. I have incredibly Asian friends.

Drinking Alone

Hey guys! I'm really updating, like an actual blogger!

I went to Rochester Hills Brewery today. Pretty nice place - it's actually a bar, attached to a brewery. The beer is great - I don't think I've ever tasted the real taste of beer before. It's fresh, and there's actually a distinct grain/hops taste.

I like Canadian beer more, in terms of quality. It goes down a lot smoother, there's more weight to it. But America has more microbreweries, and it shows. There's tons of variety, and the beer is usually made on the spot, or close enough to make no difference.

Tonight was open mic night - I didn't play, but I went to watch and listen. Really fun stuff going on, but it's a bit bigger than my usual hangouts. I prefer small, hole-in-the-wall bars. I need to find something like that, and reclaim my roots.

CARS

I went to the Detroit Auto Show today. So tired. Will update later.

Sitting Down

Hello.

I bought a chair today.

This is a celebratory occasion because I have been in this apartment for nearly 3 months to the day. And for those ~90 days, I've been sitting on an upturned plastic shipping container.

Now I have a microsuede office chair with wheels and a spring back, adjustable seat. Armrests too.

It takes me an absurdly long time to buy the things I need, because I am a stupid.

Deer Run

I've moved into a nice little area in the heart of Rochester Hills. I'm surrounded by a thick forest, encircled by a sizable creek. There, now the stalkers out there should have no trouble finding me.

I took a walk by the creek today. I hadn't had a chance to do so until now, due to work and other commitments, and the short periods of daylight. I wouldn't want to trip and fall fifty feet into a freezing river, despite how hilarious my eulogy would be.

It's a beautiful place, but as I was making my way back, I literally stumbled into a small herd of deer. Like, four or five of them, just five metres from me. One of them made a sound, which caught my attention, and they looked up as I stopped. For like, five minutes, we just stared without moving. I waved, and they didn't react. Jerks.

It was getting slightly troubling. Did deers ever attack people? I checked for antlers but found none. Did that mean they were all female? Or were antlers not 'in' this season? Their big black eyes stared deep into my soul - scrutinizing, judging.

I turned my back and walked away, checking every five seconds, wary of a hoof in my back.

Thank God I made it out alive.

Facefloor

Oh man. Gotta beat Skyward tonight.

As another note, I'm going to stop using work as a 'new things' topic. No one wants to hear what I do at my job... because I do something new and exciting every day! Yes, that is the answer least likely to get me unemployed. I ran it through a calculator.

Outside of work though... I come back pretty late. Then I feel like this: http://i.imgur.com/ZC7b2.gif

Anyways.

I'm going to head out to a bar for dinner. Hamlin Pub. It's a nice place. I'll let you know if I make it back.

Whoops

Oh man. Sorry guys. My head has been so far up my ass these days.

So what's new?

- I bought a PS3, with Shadow of the Colossus Remastered. I love that game so much. If I were a dog, I'd pee myself with excitement. I still haven't beaten Skyward Sword yet, so I feel a little guilty double-gaming. Expect me to beat that soon. I'll definitely update it here.

- I bought a new TV to play the aforementioned games on. I also got Netflix. I'm slowly turning into my friend Jon, who has so much technology. I'm afraid he's a Borg, and he's slowly assimilating me.

- Christmas came and went, and I got plenty of new clothes. I guess people are trying to make me mature into a working individual. Joke's on them; sometimes I get naked and slather myself in Vaseline, then scoot around the kitchen pretending I'm a slug.

- What else is new? Well, I started reading A Storm of Swords, book 3 in the Game of Thrones series. Hope that guy finishes the last book soon... he's getting kind of wrinkly.

-

#3. Cooking for One

Still here.

Work has been intense. I build robots. They slice, they dice, they hunt Sarah Connor.

What else is new? Well, I don't have dining room chairs. I'm sitting on a large cardboard box, and it has a dimple in it from my ass.

Anyways, new things: I became product manager for the M430, the first USDA-approved food robot. But in an effort to make this blog NOT all about work, I'll also list that I learned how to cook a great many things for myself. Today's menu is garlic-butter tilapia fillets with homemade pasta sauce on rigatoni. I'm being fancy.

My girlfriend also gave me a metric shitload of recipes, which have so far come in handy. Still can't believe I can buy booze at walmart.

#2. Robots

I'm almost done my first week here in new-jobland, and it's been really intense. I've learned so much over the past few days, I've had to install an extra memory card in my ear to accommodate all the new data.

I've been running around, working with different robots. Sometimes I attend seminars, but one thing I really enjoy is how 'hands-on' this place is. They really encourage you to pick up a controller and start learning from experience. I haven't crashed anything, or accidentally set any robots on a 'destroy all humans!' rampage.

One thing I'm getting irritated at is the feeling of helplessness in this new city. I don't know where to hang out after work, and I don't have any friends in the area yet. I'm trying to find something to do post-work, but seeing as I don't yet have a dining table, I might be getting a bit ahead.

Anyone in the Oakland County area need a new friend?

#1. Moving In

So I've started moving into my new place, and it's been pretty ridiculous. Did you know you can buy EVERYTHING at Wal-Mart? I feel a little bad supporting the whole 'third-world exploitation', but I can't stay mad at a place where I can buy wine AND a table to drink it on AND a couch to cry myself to sleep in! I'm so lonely.

There's so much 'new' going on that I don't really know where to start. I did get a social security number though. Ain't gonna tell you what it is though, identity theft and all that. I know a couple of people who would like to have my life right now. I'm looking at you, Todd.

I haven't bought a dining table yet. I'm eating on the floor. Not off the floor though - I did buy some dishware and cutlery and stuff.

I start work tomorrow. Am I nervous? You betcha. I'm so nervous I need to go to Walmart. To buy new socks. Because I think I peed out of nervousness. Gosh, I hope none of my employers find this blog.

A New Start

Hey, so, it's been a while, but I feel like I need to start this blog again.

There's been a lot of changes in my life. Not like, hair-in-new-places changes, just general life developments.

Well, first off, I got a job. In this economy? Anyways, it required me to move out of the only country I've ever really known, to Michigan. Food is cheap, people are nice, and you can buy BOOZE at WAL-MART!

They'll be plenty of exciting new things up in this blog. I'll keep y'all posted. Oh God, I'm already starting to talk like one of them.

The lady at the DMV asked for my license plate number, and I said, "Zed," and she had no idea what I was trying to say.

#10. Webster's Falls

Today, I took my dog to Webster's Falls. It's a waterfall, up on a mountain.

I also drove my mom, who was visiting. She took enough pictures to open her own art exhibit. She didn't bring me any food though.

#9. Guitar Lessonzzz

Today, I stayed up until 5 in the morning playing guitar with a friend. It's pretty much the latest I've ever been up doing a singular activity, except from that time in Grade 4 when I stayed awake all night playing Banjo-Kazooie with a group of friends. Granted, it was my birthday, and the massive amounts of Coca-Cola we ran through in that night could have probably fueled the workforce of a small country for a year.

For some reason, I've become guitar tutor to a number of people, which is weird because I don't even think I'm that good - and I'm not even getting paid, which makes me feel like I should be sitting on a mountaintop and dispensing wisdom and wicked sick riffs to weary travelers.

#8. Oktoberfest

Today, I went to Oktoberfest. It's a pseudo-German celebration in Kitchener, which used to be known as 'New Berlin'.

It was sort of disappointing because instead of being laden with German food and German beers and German polka music played by German people wearing German lederhosen, I was surrounded by a thousand students drinking Coors Light and Molson Canadian and listening to a horrible mishmash of Katy Perry and 50 Cent, which made me feel like the $15 entry fee was a total waste of money when I could've gone to someone's backyard kegger instead. Gasp.

Ah well. New thing of the day.