#10. Webster's Falls

Today, I took my dog to Webster's Falls. It's a waterfall, up on a mountain.

I also drove my mom, who was visiting. She took enough pictures to open her own art exhibit. She didn't bring me any food though.

#9. Guitar Lessonzzz

Today, I stayed up until 5 in the morning playing guitar with a friend. It's pretty much the latest I've ever been up doing a singular activity, except from that time in Grade 4 when I stayed awake all night playing Banjo-Kazooie with a group of friends. Granted, it was my birthday, and the massive amounts of Coca-Cola we ran through in that night could have probably fueled the workforce of a small country for a year.

For some reason, I've become guitar tutor to a number of people, which is weird because I don't even think I'm that good - and I'm not even getting paid, which makes me feel like I should be sitting on a mountaintop and dispensing wisdom and wicked sick riffs to weary travelers.

#8. Oktoberfest

Today, I went to Oktoberfest. It's a pseudo-German celebration in Kitchener, which used to be known as 'New Berlin'.

It was sort of disappointing because instead of being laden with German food and German beers and German polka music played by German people wearing German lederhosen, I was surrounded by a thousand students drinking Coors Light and Molson Canadian and listening to a horrible mishmash of Katy Perry and 50 Cent, which made me feel like the $15 entry fee was a total waste of money when I could've gone to someone's backyard kegger instead. Gasp.

Ah well. New thing of the day.

#7. Microwave

Today, I microwaved something in the engineering lounge.

Despite basically living in the school's engineering lounge for 5 years, I have never needed to heat food - mainly because I like my meals the way I like my revenge. The difference today was the foot-long rib-wich in my hands. Dilemmas. I could eat it cold, but the rib-wich was designed - no, evolved - to be eaten piping hot with melted cheese and warm toasted bread.

To give you a scope of the situation, I was standing in the middle of a busy lounge, with one of the two daily-made rib-wiches in my hands, drawing envious peeks from the people around me. The microwave lay just ahead, and only two minutes of irradiation separated me from a delicious warm lunch.

This is pretty much what the microwave looks like:

[Engineers don't even clean their bodies.]

You'd think that with 500 of the smartest people in the city, we'd be able to figure out a way to keep the microwave clean, but no, apparently, cleanliness is inversely proportional to intelligence. That means as people get smarter, they get dirtier. Which makes Pigpen from Peanuts a freaking genius.

Anyways, I used it after much deliberation, which only goes to show that health concerns are inversely proportional to the deliciousness of food.

#6. Statistical Unreliability

Today, I wrote a midterm for Staistical Reliability of Software.

Ever wake up on Christmas morning, earlier than you wake up on the other 364 days of the year, alert and bushy-tailed and wide-eyed, and run downstairs in a bursting fit of anxiety, your tiny footstomps awakening your poor parents, to find a stack of brightly-wrapped presents, surrounded by the smell of pine and cinnamon and cookies, tearing them open in excitement to find that you got exactly what you asked for, and more?

It was like the exact opposite of that.

#5. L4D2

Today, I taught my girlfriend to play Left 4 Dead 2. She thoroughly enjoyed it, much the same way I enjoy shoe shopping or grating my crotch.

She can't even walk properly in-game. This does not bode well. How are we going to survive the zombie apocalypse if she can't even manage to walk? I can't leave her behind, and I can't carry her on my back (not after taking her to that noodle house one too many times). I think my only option here is to move north before the collapse of society even occurs. Which is going to SUCK. I can't stand cold weather, or Orca whales. They can all suck my ****.

#4. Weapons Shoppe

Today, I went down to the lakeshore.

I've been there numerous times, but this time, I got to visit this really cool weapons shop. They sell all sorts of things like suits of armour and swords and stuff. They're usually closed, probably because they see me coming and I look like the kind of person who would not be very trustworthy near any type of sharp object. Not even a pencil.

I also had an 'iced caramel latte', so with that amount of sugar and caffeine in my body, it's probably a bad idea to allow me near so many bladed weapons.